Transcript for "Magic - with Vivian Carrasco"

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00:00.00
podcomm
Hello I’m Craig Constantine hey ve v it’s a pleasure to get a chance to sit down and talk with you again. We’ve done a couple things together that are recorded and I was excited when you responded and said yes, please and hopped into the schedule.

00:02.49
Dr_ Vivi
Um, and I’m VVCarrasco

00:14.51
Dr_ Vivi
Yes, please And thank you.

00:19.19
podcomm
You’re very welcome. Um, we do as I’ve mentioned a million times in the show now we do a little pre-call to this and you and I were talking about well as we do as I do with every guest. There’s like a bunch of talking that happens and then you pointed out that the startup or the conversation that happens. Before you actually hit record with the guest about maybe how how precious that is or how much of a gift that is and um, we started talking about that and I think that’s where we want to go today. So um, maybe do you want to tell me why because I I basically say podcasting and then I ask what do you think of and what made you point to. That startup or that precall.

00:58.38
Dr_ Vivi
Well the the pre-call really brought to mind this shift in perspective this this. Um this change that’s happened in me from the beginning of podcast to where I am now and I I just thought it would be nice to reflect back to the podcast community What that is. And how I experienced it and um, how wonderful how it is to have a community and just being grateful for that when we initiated our call I was like so what kind of mixer. Do you got there? ah.

01:28.12
podcomm
Um, it was like straight to the Geek toys.

01:34.11
Dr_ Vivi
Ah, and it was in a very sort of curious What you got now because we I One of the things that I’ve accepted about myself is that my toolkits are going going to continuously evolve. You know whether it’s mobile podcasting or if I’m in a stationary position but in the beginning of my podcasting journey.

01:43.60
podcomm
Right.

01:53.70
Dr_ Vivi
Um, I used the equipment as an excuse to prevent me from actually having a cool conversation and and pushing record and now I’ve found that it’s just this playful curiosity and and when I had that exchange with you I’m like.

01:58.65
podcomm
Right.

02:10.38
Dr_ Vivi
Wow What a difference it is.

02:11.54
podcomm
Yeah, and we did I’m like I know that we did that like when you and I talked before because um, one of the things we’re doing like you know meta is we have the video turned off for this particular recording and you um, you’re the first person that I was on a show where the host said hey let’s turn the video off. And I had heard about that but I had never experienced it and we talked about that in thecall, why? and and um, like when you said the pre-conversation I’m like yeah I remember the one where we were talking about turning video off. So I totally agree with you that there’s I was going to say there’s um, there’s a magical space.

02:37.84
Dr_ Vivi
Ah.

02:46.15
podcomm
If anybody is a Marvel Marvel fan. There’s a magical space where 2 people get together and have this no matter how brief it is conversation before they start and so I’m thinking a lot of people. So.

02:46.71
Dr_ Vivi
And then.

03:02.95
podcomm
All the podcasters that I’ve talked to and it’s a huge number right? Not all of them have an opinion about what to do in the early conversation before the real podcast part but the ones that do have an opinion many of them say press record as soon as possible and. I’m of the other camp where I don’t want to press record until we’ve had a chance to do the little curtsey and bow before the dance you know like to make sure that we’re on the same page and have you put any thought into like well first of all how how early how how much of a hurry are you in to press record and what are your thoughts on. Like when we actually and start like how does that change? What’s happening.

03:43.17
Dr_ Vivi
Well I’ll be I’ll be very practical in how it changed what’s happening in in this recording when we were having our pre-call I was you know sitting up straight making sure my Mike was you know about six inches from my face. You know camera is squared.

03:54.71
podcomm
Are.

04:02.27
Dr_ Vivi
And there was a lot of attention on what I was conveying to you and when I said let’s turn the cameras off I took the mic off the stand I’m leaning back. My legs are up and I’m just sort of sitting here imagining that you’re in that couch you’re sitting on the couch and we’re just talking. Um, so.

04:09.31
podcomm
Um.

04:21.60
Dr_ Vivi
For me, not having the the mental drain of how do I look which you can’t get over and just being able to sort of imagine you there and us having a conversation with each other and the podcast community as the listener.

04:29.63
podcomm
Right.

04:40.10
Dr_ Vivi
On the other side of the couch like we’re all here together. That’s how it shifts for me and I’m really grateful that I’m was comfortable enough to even ask you for that because early in my podcast journey I wouldn’t have done that would have and I would have put on makeup and I would have done my hair in the whole bit but you know Pandemic I’m a new. I’m a whole new person now.

04:59.88
podcomm
So Do you when you say Well, first of all, thanks for feeling comfortable enough to Turn. It’s kind of like sounds backwards comfortable enough to turn video off and not give a crap way to go. However, but but I know exactly what you mean and I think Kifowood podcast. Would agree. Um, and I’m wondering when you said that I just want to like ask ah like a deeper question. Do you mean you earlier in your Journey. You wouldn’t have felt comfortable enough when you’re a guest to ask the host to axe the video or do you just mean in general. Yeah see because.

05:20.26
Dr_ Vivi
Ah.

05:35.63
Dr_ Vivi
Absolutely absolutely.

05:39.85
podcomm
I Wanted to make sure because like that so I’m thinking like that’s a good Um, that’s a bad choice of words That’s and a really interesting development to get to a point of comfort where you can say to the host. Yeah I know you have your whole you know the way you want to run the race here but I’m turning the video off but but I agree I have my video not just um.

05:54.68
Dr_ Vivi
Ah.

05:58.49
podcomm
My video is muted so that I can’t even I mean I I can’t even see myself I’m just staring I Keep thinking there’s something wrong like I’m like God we’re all right? No, We’re only recording audio. Um, So yeah I Totally agree with you that there’s definitely a level of comfort or a level of self confidence that one needs. To be comfortable to say to the pressing other they’re End. We’re only record an audio right? Let’s kill the video.

06:20.81
Dr_ Vivi
Um, well and and it’s not just I think one of the things that that led to this because it’s not just that I’m a confident person because I don’t know that I am but but because I’ve been ah because I’ve been on the podcast journey for 6 years

06:28.49
podcomm
You are.

06:36.58
Dr_ Vivi
I have both experienced the distinct difference between recorded ah video and audio call and sitting back relaxing my posture changing and just focusing on what I hear from you and what comes out of my my.

06:43.32
podcomm
Okay.

06:55.56
Dr_ Vivi
My voice and gotten feedback from listeners to say it sounds like I’m right there with you.

06:59.91
podcomm
Yeah, there’s there’s more intimacy or it’s closer. Whatever adjective calls to you.

07:03.88
Dr_ Vivi
Um, I think when we are vulnerable when we let our guard down and that’s what happens for me when I turn off the video I let my guard down and I’m just immersed in the experience.

07:17.48
podcomm
Um, yeah, that’s a good, a good point part of go ahead. No no.

07:22.60
Dr_ Vivi
Tell tell me sorry to interrupt you tell you because I’m curious tell me more about this magic space for Marvel haven’t seen the movie. Don’t know the reference.

07:27.66
podcomm
Um, ah, it’s from um, oh I don’t want to get it wrong because all the Marvel people will kill me. it’s it’s um okay so in 1 of the movies that involved the Marvel Avengers you. Meet s sorry brain networking and I’m resisting searching agent colsson is kind of a throwaway character and he winds up getting killed by Loki and it’s it’s a really interesting point point because he’s a minor character in the movie and when he dies.

07:48.18
Dr_ Vivi
Um, ah.

08:01.25
podcomm
Samuel Jackson’s character uses him as the catalyst to get the Avenger team to all get on the same page and come together. So there’s a whole nother series that follows um Colson and his team and what my brain. It’s not defenders. It’s agents mike. Um, hopefully I’ll think of it later I’ll put it in the episode nuts. Maybe anyway, there’s a whole like 7 8 season long show about these first. It’s regular plain humans and then they start trying to enlist some of the people who have special powers and Colson actually dies. In the movie where you meet his character like dies for real completely dead and the running gag through the whole thing is he has this implanted memory about being in tahiti and that was what they implanted in his head so that he could completely ignore what they actually did to him to bring him back. So every time something happens that refers to his mysterious past like yeah, how aren’t you actually dead. He would just say yeah I was on vacation in Tahiti and it was a magical place and but in reality it was not tahiti and it was not magical. It was alien science and bad stuff.

09:05.80
Dr_ Vivi
Are.

09:14.36
podcomm
But that’s the memory that covers it up. So anytime I want to just like overplay something as being awesome I’ll just be like it’s a magical place I Know it’s a that’s a dumb long story but there it is yeah.

09:21.16
Dr_ Vivi
Oh interesting. It is so not dumb and long. No um my when you said magical space is it magical space or magical place.

09:32.71
podcomm
Um, he says magical place. Tahiti is a magical place but this is I think that podcasting is a magical space.

09:37.30
Dr_ Vivi
Ah I agree with you and that’s what my mind interpreted like this magical space and the magic I Love the word magic The magic that happens on our journey right? like even if we had a map.

09:51.96
podcomm
Um.

09:56.39
Dr_ Vivi
To where we started to where we are to where we’re going to be the the map doesn’t define the territory you know like the elevation in the and I I just thought I inserted space. But I’m going to have to watch that movie now.

10:00.85
podcomm
Right? right.

10:07.35
podcomm
Now that’s ah okay I I forget which one is it’s one of the might be like the second one that has Thor in it and Loki and I don’t know if you need to invest that much time and effort invested way or.

10:20.62
Dr_ Vivi
Ah, okay, so maybe I’ll Youtube search it and find it. Ah.

10:25.29
podcomm
Just go to Wikipedia yeah, and it’s called the show is called I remembered all the people out there laughing at me. It’s called agents of shield like yes and shield is an acronym for this human ah organization that tries to protect the planet agents of shield.

10:32.63
Dr_ Vivi
Okay.

10:43.72
podcomm
And winds up with agent Colson being in charge. It’s great one to go a watch all the way to the end. It’s got a real tear jerker ending on a softie any who? Um, yeah.

10:48.53
Dr_ Vivi
Ah, oh.

10:56.54
podcomm
So I’m like my list of possible words is getting really long here because now I got magic space and I’m also thinking maybe I should just call the show Tahiti at the end and throw people off what the heck is this about? Yeah um, so did you finish your training of thought about this.

11:05.96
Dr_ Vivi
Ah.

11:16.80
podcomm
Magical space like the magical space of podcasting or the magical space of audio only because I have more I could say about that. But I don’t want to steamroll.

11:21.29
Dr_ Vivi
Well, there’s magical space and audio only but I I also wanted to just loop back and enclose a loop on the magical space between the shifts that happen I Still love technology I Still love new Tools, New toys and I’m super curious about. You know, different setups but it doesn’t weigh me down Anymore. It’s a much more playful approach and I thought that was interesting for me to sort of realize I have the same characters but they’re not jagged anymore. They’re more of a soft sort of slide into and out of.

11:42.19
podcomm
Um, nice.

11:56.84
Dr_ Vivi
And and that’s that’s neat to sort of just become aware of that thing. Yes I’ll still buy more things but it won’t be you know, like like books right? Yes I’m still going to buy more books even though I haven’t read the ones I’ve already bought the stack I’m list staring at right now.

12:05.90
podcomm
Ah, yeah.

12:15.32
Dr_ Vivi
So yes I might buy the age 6 zoom even though my 4 is fine but I I’m not going to carry any weight around it.

12:18.52
podcomm
Um, yeah, yeah, that’s it. That’s a great observation. Yeah, sometimes I find myself like oh do I really need this other $12 thing and I’m like. Yeah, but I would actually use that $12 thing. So it’s like okay I can I can have nice things like I’m allowed to have things. That’s not that I have way too much I had someone walk into our house 1 time and go whoa does anybody live here which I thought was a really really rude thing to say. However I think what startled them.

12:46.41
Dr_ Vivi
But we have that in common.

12:49.61
podcomm
What I think what they meant was wow your house is really nice I’ve also had other people have had 1 other person go when I said you can’t come over. We have to clean first they went your house is like a museum. So yeah.

13:00.57
Dr_ Vivi
Ah, well I my um one of my sons is like when are you going to decorate like when is it going to look like you live here and I’m like this is what it looks like. We’ve lived here 10 years like don’t expect anything else. So um i.

13:10.20
podcomm
Yes, and ask yes.

13:19.88
Dr_ Vivi
And that would also imply it. My husband and I are fairly minimalist So there’s not a whole lot that we like spend money on but the stuff that we do spend money on. We really go way over the top.

13:30.70
podcomm
Yeah I don’t know that I go away over the top. But like there’s 2 pictures hanging over my over the desk that I’m sitting at now and they’re um I don’t know if you call them lithographs or whatever you call a reproduction of somebody did a sketch and they are they are from Quebec.

13:47.77
Dr_ Vivi
Um, and then.

13:49.68
podcomm
In Canada obviously and they are from a 1980 sort 4 or 5 something like that a trip when I was in like junior high and I went to kenon on a bus trip and I bought these 2 sketches. 1 of them is a little meta. It’s a sketch.

14:00.19
Dr_ Vivi
Um, oh cool.

14:07.81
podcomm
The street where the artists hang out and the guy who did the sketch I bought it in the alley that’s in the picture in this you know like 1 of those things um and and like my mom framed them back in the 80 s and now they’re hanging in our house and then over there is a picture of ah of a plant like in monochrome I think it’s not in black and white. But it’s monochrome and then.

14:11.82
Dr_ Vivi
Um.

14:27.75
podcomm
And I’m looking around there’s nothing else on the walls in here you know, but then we have like stained glass windows. You know So it’s it’s like yeah I try to um I The opposite end of the spectrum is what my mom calls fully knickknacked which is which is when you walk into place and.

14:31.77
Dr_ Vivi
Um, yeah.

14:44.52
Dr_ Vivi
Ah, um, oh my yeah neither neither neither am I that that implies dusting and and it’s not one of my favorite things to do so.

14:45.24
podcomm
Every available flat surface has something on maximum knickknack. Yeah no I’m not going there.

14:58.33
podcomm
Ah, for dusting I highly recommend Hepa Air filters that you can put in your central air I was like oh you know we can reduce dusting by just spending a little bit extra on really good air filters going back to like we can have nice things and going over the top. So.

15:03.90
Dr_ Vivi
Um, oh nice.

15:11.57
Dr_ Vivi
I Am you don’t know how many notes I’ve already taken of stuff that I have to look up or do ah.

15:19.62
podcomm
They’re expensive but I have really good ppleted air filters and I change them every three months and they don’t look dirty but they do keep the dust down. But anyway.

15:25.43
Dr_ Vivi
And that’s a good point. Um I do mine every six months. Well I personally don’t do them David does my husband but when what I heard from the experts in like air conditioning and that sort of thing is prevent. Prevention is better than repair.

15:42.52
podcomm
Yes.

15:44.47
Dr_ Vivi
And when you do that every three months or every six months you don’t want it. It obviously filters more dust right out of your system and it keeps your stuff working and I I think that’s just an important thing to note that it could also apply to us as humans like.

15:49.63
podcomm
Um, yeah, yep.

15:58.22
podcomm
Yeah I would agree.

16:04.20
Dr_ Vivi
With everything maybe maybe getting our teeth cleaned every three months instead of 6

16:07.69
podcomm
Um, my dentist is really busy I want every nine months and I’m lucky if I’m there every year but two days one does the top one does the bottom and we’re gonna compare who’s doing a better job.

16:12.72
Dr_ Vivi
Um, get to Dennis that’s what I’m going to do I’m getting to Dennis yes.

16:25.24
podcomm
I’m going to call you Dr Downer and Dr. upper right? Ah, yeah, that’s that’s.

16:29.59
Dr_ Vivi
Ah, ah, ah, one on my insurance went on David’s and we just do him every three months. That’s my plan I haven’t implemented yet. But it’s an idea.

16:37.13
podcomm
They might figure that out. Oh yes, So what else.

16:42.96
Dr_ Vivi
Meaning and magic those are the words that are popping up for me what we’re really talking about is we focus on what’s meaningful to us and we leave a space for magic to happen because it needs space if there is no space. It’s like a recipe.

16:54.40
podcomm
Um, yes, yeah, it’s like the quiet the the meaning and the magic are like quiet voices um or quiet.

17:02.25
Dr_ Vivi
Right.

17:09.57
podcomm
I quiet thoughts and if things are too noisy. There’s no room for that thought to be heard.

17:11.60
Dr_ Vivi
Um, and even the space between your our call and response right? that I’m not waiting to say something I’m actually listening to what you say.

17:22.79
podcomm
Um, well, there’s an art. Um and a comfortability, a comfort comfort comfortability level I don’t know Merds words using about using silence and some people learn they deploy it surgically they’re like.

17:34.98
Dr_ Vivi
Um, and.

17:40.50
podcomm
You see them the day they learn that they can just sit quietly and let the guest eventually start talking again and I’m like yes, that’s 1 level but that’s using that’s using silence as a weapon you could do that but we can also just hold space for.

17:52.55
Dr_ Vivi
Ah.

17:56.63
podcomm
Somebody listening to collect their thoughts for a second too. Oh yeah.

17:58.87
Dr_ Vivi
I like that that ah the way that that phrase brings up an image in my mind at holding space like you know, even though my guys are 25 and thirty. It’s very a very clear memory.

18:11.80
podcomm
Oh yeah.

18:17.10
Dr_ Vivi
Of me holding them as infants and I think that that’s how we nurture and care for that space that we hold for magic.

18:21.69
podcomm
Um I liked um I’m guessing you’ve heard of or done circle Practice. You know where you have a collection of people in a circle and um, maybe you’re trying to do something with restorative Justice or maybe you’re just trying to talk about something sensitive or maybe we. Something happened in the group and we’re just trying to make sure everybody’s on the same page I’ve done a couple of they call us circles and they have a talking talisman a lot of times I’m in movement spaces so we use somebody’s water bottle. But like if you can always spot people who’ve never done these before because they just sit there and they’re like ready to burst.

18:46.81
Dr_ Vivi
Um, and can you.

18:57.90
podcomm
You know and watching the talking piece go around the room and then when you give them the talking piece I mean this is also super useful then it’s just like a ah regurgitation of like here’s all the things I needed to say while this thing went around and you can see people who who do that versus people who um. And I’m going to say this is me in those circles I’m really just enjoying that it’s in that context it’s completely accepted and expected that you don’t say anything so i’t have to be thinking I can just be doing the thinking that goes with listening and you could be like to me. It’s as wonderful to be in the circle. The whole time that I’m not allowed to talk you know and then I’ve had cases where I get the thing and I’m like I don’t have anything to add and just like pass it on and like I think that holding space is as valuable for the space that it lets people talk in or be heard in as it is for everybody else like. Okay, you don’t have to worry about having to talk. You can just listen.

19:57.23
Dr_ Vivi
Yes, and I and I there I’m very familiar with that. Um, that format and in the other thing and tell me if you’ve experienced this where you take that talking piece and um, you haven’t prepared anything because you’ve been so you know so immersed and enjoying. Ah conversation that’s happening and then you pause right? You hold that sacred space and this this something just comes through you that is not you alone and you’re like Wow I There’s a that that that has been my experience is that one I didn’t plan to say that.

20:18.46
podcomm
He asked.

20:36.46
Dr_ Vivi
Didn’t know I was going to say it and after I said it I reflecting on it like that is so interesting.

20:41.91
podcomm
Yes, I’m chuckling and nodding along because yes I’ve had that experience and particularly the part where after I say something I’m like that was way better than what I would have said if I had been thinking about what to say.

20:55.00
Dr_ Vivi
Yes, yes.

20:57.81
podcomm
And and that leads me back to my thought about it’s almost as if there’s a quieter thought that I wouldn’t have heard if I hadn’t you know, been in that in the in the place where I wasn’t thinking about what I had to say yeah.

21:01.32
Dr_ Vivi
Right.

21:09.18
Dr_ Vivi
Yes, and here’s here’s the magic behind that that I that I have found in the last couple of years when people when other people experience that same thing is that you have an experience of ah you know before anxiety trying you know worrying about what people are going to think you know.

21:26.40
podcomm
1 remote.

21:29.12
Dr_ Vivi
All those things that happen normally as as a human and then you allow that space you are involved. You know totally immersed in what’s going on and there’s no effort… There’s no, It’s almost like it’s a it’s a wave in versus versus this this pushing forward to get something done. That has been super like mind blowing for me is that it can be more powerful with less effort and more meaningful when I don’t try in the way I used to try and I let it come through me and I Love how you’ve paired through that. Um.

21:49.33
podcomm
M.

22:04.61
podcomm
Um, as much as I hate to say it. We need to cut this at some point. So I think magic this may be the first moment where we’ve actually talked about the title in the thing but I think magic is going to be the title.

22:04.87
Dr_ Vivi
Silent space.

22:18.98
Dr_ Vivi
Oh I Love it.

22:21.98
podcomm
So vb it was a delight as usual to get a chance to talk to you and’m telling you tell everybody in the precall I’m like it’s a quartermile drag race 0 to 60 and when the airbag hits you? That’s when it’s over now. 22 minutes is a nice bite size piece of.

22:24.99
Dr_ Vivi
I can’t believe 20 minutes have gone by this is so fun.

22:38.76
Dr_ Vivi
Um, yeah, absolutely.

22:41.65
podcomm
If you haven’t heard Vivian Carrasco before you definitely need to look her up and I think you’ll be happily delighted. But what you find so thanks vhoebe.

22:49.83
Dr_ Vivi
Um, you’re welcome. Thank you.