Transcript for "Authentic - with Paul Jones"

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00:00.00
podcomm
Hello I’m Craig Constantine Paul welcome to the show as I say all the time. It’s my pleasure. This is just an excuse for me to get to talk to cool people have hopefully cool conversations hangout yeah and.

00:01.48
Paul
Um, and I am Paul Jones thank you very much Thank you very much. Um, and they canceled and here I am but.

00:17.69
podcomm
We had a nice. We have a there’s a pre-chat goes with the show join me on the show. You’ll experience the pre-chat there’s a pre-chat we went off on like this technical nerd deep dive pardon me if I call you a merd. Maybe so maybe you’re a self-identified Geek We were nerding out about audio stuff under the hood. Um, and so then I said all right? What should we talk about and.

00:23.90
Paul
E No I Love being called the nerd.

00:36.85
podcomm
I often say to people on the precall when I say podcasting what comes to mind. So I said to Paul hey when I say podcasting what comes to mind.

00:42.36
Paul
Yes, and I said it’s not about podcasting thanks for coming. Ah, we enjoyed this fastest 30 minutes of your life.

00:49.46
podcomm
It’s a very short short show. Yeah, right? and we’re done. You know it’s good if it wasn’t fun and challenging I wouldn’t go do it? Um, but to follow that train of thought what is it about then.

01:00.88
Paul
Yeah, so um and that’s a so I assume the folks that are part of this and maybe it’s that listen to your show and maybe it’s a bad assumption on my part on when I say Seth they sort of know who I’m talking about. Um it’s Seth Macfarlane obviously um yeah so.

01:15.11
podcomm
Or you could just search the internet for Seth if you don’t know what we’re talking about.

01:20.87
Paul
Ah, but I probably had a bald head before him just to be fair, but I am a huge fanboy and I I love because I finally found somebody who can articulate the way I think and that’s what I love and so I I’ve been listened to I. Would fly to hear him in person and reading all his books and all this stuff and so when he started a podcast I thought it was incredible and so I saved the ones that I just love and I just when you asked me to do this I immediately thought about a show that he did in 2018 and the title of is it’s not about the chocolate and yeah.

01:51.90
podcomm
Oh I think I heard that one I know that 1

01:56.51
Paul
And so um, Seth is really skinny and eats chocolate which makes me hate him. Um, but right, but he he balances it out I can walk by a glass of water and gain £10 so it doesn’t.

02:01.29
podcomm
Um, because you and I are not skinny I don’t know what you eat, but.

02:12.37
Paul
But he balances it with being vegan so he probably doesn’t eat like when I eat chocolate I eat like enough for a small nation. But um, but he’s into it right? and so he had this show. That’s not about the chocolate and he talks about what? ah this fellow that assumes a friend to his now Sean Askanosy and so if you go on Google ask a nosey chocolate. Um, their website. Of course they sell chocolate. But I don’t I’m going to butcher the story because I don’t know all the details I can’t remember them but Sean was basically burnout in his career and realized it was too much trying to keep up and took a break and decide. You know what could he do to make the kind of difference he wanted to make in the world.

02:43.65
podcomm
Um.

02:51.47
Paul
And he found his way to trying to create get a bean a cacao bean from the source and treat everybody fairly along the way and get it to a chocolate bar. Um.

03:03.39
podcomm
Um.

03:07.51
Paul
But that’s the vehicle he uses to do the thing that he’s on the planet to do right? So but along the way he’s I mean he can’t have crappy chocolate or nobody’s going to listen to that story right? So there is and that’s where it gets weird. So when I say it’s not about podcasting.

03:19.66
podcomm
Brave.

03:26.32
Paul
You have to actually press record at some point for did you check all look I see little bounty waves down here if I think I don’t know ah I don’t but it’s but the waves are purple and that makes me happy.

03:28.29
podcomm
Um, I Just Checked. You made me look I’m like yeah so it’s running. Yeah that just means it’s listening to us. So There’s a count do have a counter on your screen Anyway, sorry keep going. Oh. Oh I didn’t know that you guys can’t see the timer I have a timer running in seconds I’m sorry I interrupted you for him. It’s the chocolate and has to be good or people won’t listen to his story.

03:44.35
Paul
The match part. And it’s okay. Um, Well so um, whatever small story you’re in has to have some attention but it feels to me like at least that’s been part of my journey is that That’s really just a vehicle. For the universe to say come closer I’ve got something else for you and peeling back more layers of the onion and so what I mean by that is um I until recently probably like if akimbo gave awards for the people that did the most workshops without actually.

04:11.75
podcomm
Um.

04:30.33
podcomm
Are voted most likely to almost.

04:30.34
Paul
Publishing anything that would be me. Um and I’m very proud of that and and here somebody right? that just so like I’m great at horsehoes um, but for me that is fantastic. Um, and here’s why because I am always the guy that like you can take 1 look at me and realize I have boundary issues like I I can’t figure out when I’m full and I also can’t figure out when to say no to things and it’s usually.

05:04.74
podcomm
Um.

05:08.98
Paul
Um, after I’ve fallen off the cliff and I’m looking back up and it was back there. Um, that was it because um I’m so passionate about the things that I am passionate about.

05:11.27
podcomm
Yeah, oh that was the line right.

05:22.45
Paul
Um, and you don’t have to go very far in my family to figure that out. My mom was that way and it’s just sort of how I was raised. It’s in my Dna um, but the things I don’t care about I don’t but the problem is I’m interested in so many things right? So anyway, um, podcasting has always been something that’s been interesting to me because I love storytelling.

05:26.79
podcomm
Um.

05:41.59
Paul
And I love anything that feels like it’s on the edge of something so I think I was in pod if not 1 maybe 2 and i’ like I’m gonna do this and I didn’t and been free for I don’t know how but oh I don’t really remember.

05:54.39
podcomm
What what year was that what what year did you almost.

06:01.40
Paul
Be honest with you I remember where I was because I I owned a small business at the time and yeah, it was and I was in Chicago sitting in a hotel room doing emails on and trying to figure out the platform. So whenever that was um, but now.

06:04.26
podcomm
It has to be pre 2019 I just happened that like it’s probably 2018 right

06:21.36
Paul
Have a show. It has 1 episode. It’s called the aardwork chronic.

06:27.34
podcomm
Yeah, we have cheap Foley on this show.

06:27.75
Paul
Like there’s probably more mike yeah and um I don’t care how long it took but to talk about this. Well we have to of course talk about Dexter um on Showtime because. Not the one that’s coming out now but the one the the original because it’s somewhere along huh. There is a remike yeah because he didn’t I hello we all know this and.

06:49.10
podcomm
I Don’t know. There’s a remake. There’s a remake I I hate when they do that the original almost yeah but ah, ah, yeah, or why has everything had to be wrapped up in a neat little. Box with a line around it I Love that it’s like oh and and we’re not sure what happened to him. Yeah.

07:04.79
Paul
Because he’s got a mortgage that’s gone. Yeah, so anyway, along the way you know he starts talking about his dark passenger and I have one and it’s this Ah Bodyless Headless voice that tells me it’s all up to Me. And I can’t pull it off and so just work Harder. Go faster if I could have bought stock in the hustling grind posters. Um, and they’re lies. They’re all lies and yes, they are and so.

07:27.27
podcomm
Smooth.

07:35.95
podcomm
Yeah, it’s a treadmill.

07:42.89
Paul
It’s this weird juxtaposition right? because could I have done all of this sooner. Sure why didn’t I I have no idea but the me that I needed to become to be able to press record now didn’t exist X number of years ago he was in there somewhere but he had to go through some shit.

07:49.30
podcomm
Um.

08:00.60
podcomm
Um, yeah, and as a potentiality.

08:02.44
Paul
To wherever you? Yeah so we you joked about it. Our consumption of chocolate right now I weigh probably 2 wo seventy five and I’m six feet tall twenty years ago I weighed four hundred and fifty pounds and I have been also like 73 in a triathlete. So I told you boundaries right? like I can’t if I could do moderation that be but rich and any like I I can’t so along the way there was always a point in time where should I have could I have in some objective way of course. But.

08:21.70
podcomm
That that okay, that’s a spread.

08:39.49
Paul
Why then what series of things came around in life for me to choose the path that I chose that got closer to being healthy and it’s not 1 thing so what in the hell does this have to do with podcasting. Well we get together those of us that are akimboites is it a thing we need to come up with a name.

08:44.68
podcomm
Um.

08:58.68
podcomm
Um, it’s probably a Kim bites a Kim a kiminist a kimbbers.

08:59.61
Paul
Kimboies a Kim bites. We just quick get the domain right now. Um before it’s gone I hear you listen, you’re trying to buy it too late already doing it. Um.

09:09.23
podcomm
Um, shut up nerd. You want to race. Um.

09:18.33
Paul
So um, when the oh see so I got covid last year and a there a couple things. Yeah Kim bites. Um, yeah, so those of us that gather around this idea of podcasting we think it’s to make a podcast and Seth hasn’t told me this but my seeking sneaking suspicion is that.

09:22.32
podcomm
Akim bites. Yeah.

09:36.73
Paul
Kind of knows this too and you do hear him talk about it and the other folks that are a part of the kimbo is it’s about building community of course but we have to have something to do. There’s got to be a smaller story for the larger story of our lives to show up so we can’t just sit around and say ok. Let’s all talk about the deepest darkest thing that’s keeping us from becoming what who who we were meant to be go exactly? Yeah and I the analogy I use is trying to talk to a teenager like you can’t sit down and talk to a teenager because you just it doesn’t work.

09:57.20
podcomm
Right? right? You ever see quilters sit around. What do they do? they quilt and talk right.

10:10.31
podcomm
You have to sneak up to sneak up on it right.

10:14.24
Paul
Do So if you happen to be doing the dishes together and you can I’m dating myself when we actually did dishes instead of dishes doing them. Ah, that’s okay, but when we you know we happen to be living life together it happens. But that’s got to be somewhere in my head or it’s not going to happen that’s got to be part of it right? so.

10:18.10
podcomm
Hey now I just handwashed my coffee cup. But anyway sorry.

10:26.48
podcomm
Um, right right.

10:33.56
Paul
Fast forward to now. Um I have a show. Um I’ve got 1 episode and I knew I couldn’t do it weekly. So I told the world that I was going to do it every two weeks knowing full. Well that was bullshit. Um I mean um, but it gets me to thinking about time. And all of the things that we expect and how much culture has become part of that. Um, but the the gold that’s come out of that is I realize the whole what has taken me so long is that I you talk about it when you invite people to be part of this conversation and you say.

10:56.20
podcomm
Right.

11:12.84
Paul
Let’s get over the imposter syndrome right? It’s it’s well no, it’s not it’s it’s what we all need. It’s that it’s that it’s my dark passenger saying you this is hundred percent up to you and you are who do the hell. Do you think you are you can’t pull this off.

11:16.20
podcomm
I’m a little I’m a little brutal. Yeah sorry.

11:27.40
podcomm
Um, yeah I think you have cool things to say.

11:31.30
Paul
Well so what ends up happening is my sock drawer gets really well organized and all the other things that happen now I could beat myself up for that or I could accept that That’s who I am right now and at some point I won’t be anymore. So it’s less about.

11:33.69
podcomm
M.

11:48.88
Paul
Doing the thing the way we said we’re going to do it and more about resilience being able to just keep going and the only way that happens is if we’re around people who are at different points in the journey than you and are willing to go to those places and I’ve got 3 amazing friends that are like my family now.

11:50.17
podcomm
Um.

11:58.81
podcomm
Yeah.

12:07.77
Paul
Karen Morgan Rob Slater and Lizzie I’m not gonna remember her last name. It’s a really long last name and we get together once a week oh well hey Lizzie sorry I can’t remember your name are ridiculous. Um, but.

12:17.41
podcomm
I’m drawn to blank because I think she’s scheduled on this show and I’m like oh crap and um, yeah, sorry keep going sorry my bad. Yeah.

12:26.50
Paul
She’s just liberty because we’re family and we get together every Monday at one o’clock and we found each other through this process now. Um for the first six months or so this and all this started during the pandemic and that was when I decided you know life and the other thing you know the expectations of of the pace of life that were all. Post to carry in the western world. We all were forced to slow down and so we had the opportunity to do this and I thank god for the pandemic I hate that it’s done what it’s done to people and the health and all the damage. But my lord the fact that the western world had to press pause on a supply chain gave me the breathing room and a lot of people to to do some of this stuff.

13:02.50
podcomm
Right? Wake up.

13:06.20
Paul
Yeah, so the first few months or so of the 4 of us getting together. It was about the show. How do you like it. Don’t forget to like me on Apple tunes or appletons that just made that up appletons apple tunes right now with or cinnamon. Um, but.

13:15.00
podcomm
Um, appletons apple Apple core rotten to the.

13:24.88
Paul
Since then it’s about life and helping each other raise our children and what do you do when. Nothing makes sense and how do you support each other and laughing. Oh My God I keep saying that when we get together I just need to press record and then publish these conversations that we have because the richness that’s come from that and I and I think the other three would say the same and I wasn’t looking for that.

13:42.61
podcomm
Um, yeah.

13:54.98
Paul
But the universe knew I needed it and that’s why I say it’s not about the podcast. It’s about all the things that are get revealed about us and and maybe that’s not a universal truth. Maybe that’s me I mean my why the reason I’m on this planet is to illuminate what’s on the inside. So that together we can release our extraordinary and that’s sort of so that’s the lens through which I see everything but my goodness what an opportunity we have to do this and then the real joke is you get to? you know I have a cool mic and I’m meeting you and we’re having this conversation.

14:30.43
podcomm
Um, yeah, yeah, novelty and creative and opportunities and.

14:33.88
Paul
None of which would have happened if we didn’t have this vehicle right? But we all know those people right? like the gearhead and when I say gearhead I mean like cars or or whatever else and it’s all about the car and it’s not.

14:42.86
podcomm
Um, right.

14:48.56
Paul
If you don’t get in that thing and go somewhere. That’s interesting. It doesn’t make any difference but there are people that are content to sit there in that and um, no judgment. But I just feel so deeply that there may be more for them that they’re missing and that’s what this whole journey is really about for me. And I love it. But then I have to you know, ah get the opportunity to battle with my own dark passenger and the western expectations of time and all of the stuff that says I have to show up every two weeks and do something I do show up every two weeks and sit here. You know I mean that’s.

15:25.93
podcomm
Ah, yeah, that while it is there are a large number of people who don’t even get that far or who don’t even ever actually press record and do the first hello. What? oh I don’t like my voice you know like yes, we all do that i’m.

15:26.90
Paul
Ah, something right. Um, one point right.

15:38.14
Paul
But you and I were joking before we started about all the the mental gymnastics and the things we do and especially businesses go through to appear authentic instead of just being who you are right? Yeah, yeah, and so my commitment.

15:47.23
podcomm
Um, right I would kill to have an authentic conversation. You could just press record you know and like be authentic. You don’t have to make it.

15:57.41
Paul
And um to myself in the universe and in the onion that’s being peeled is you were kind enough to invite me to be part of this and I wanted to talk about this and I’m going to let this be the kickoff of of doing that every 2 weeks I’m Goingnna send in and I’m gonna press record my my intro actually is let’s just press record and see what happens and then i.

16:14.61
podcomm
Um.

16:15.76
Paul
So do it and it’s all wrapped up in fear. It’s all wrapped up in that voice. Um, but it’s time that we had that conversation. So other people can hear it.

16:28.20
podcomm
Um I think like a bunch of ideas rattling around in my head and um, you were talking about what I call in my head my work ethic. You know the the dark passenger I don’t use that particular phrasing but it’s the same thing where. Feel like I have to do all the things and I have to do him perfect then if he can’t do it perfect I that whole horrible thing and there’s a quote from David Allen is the guy who wrote getting things done. There’s a ah quote that he said um you you have to be as comfortable with the things that you are doing right now like.

16:45.84
Paul
Um, yes, yes, exactly.

17:04.30
podcomm
You know I’m working on this podcast. You have to be as comfortable with the things you’re doing right now as you are with the things that you’re not doing right now and I read that quote years ago and that was sort of like ah the first you know Marker Buoy on the channel like oh maybe my problem is not the thing that I’m doing you know I’m not.

17:09.14
Paul
Um, it move.

17:22.66
podcomm
Maybe my problem isn’t that I’m not doing it well enough for I’m not doing it often enough I’m not doing it fast enough. Why I’m not doing the right thing. Maybe the problem is all this other stuff that I that I feel like I’m ignoring so I need to like figuratively speaking turn around and go you know it’s okay that because people keep telling me write a book and I’m like. No, actually I don’t need to write a book like and I need I need to be okay took me like a year it took me. It took me in the kimbo class to get to get okay with I’m not writing a book like and I have reasons for that and I’m like okay I can set that aside and then it like it. It kind of feels like I’m unloading rocks from the backpack and like why.

17:37.75
Paul
Um, who.

17:50.83
Paul
And ah yeah, and giving yourself permission right? Nobody told you to pick it up in the first place right? exactly right? yes and and the freedom that we feel to be again. Our authentic selves.

17:55.49
podcomm
Why do I have this rock I Like don’t need it I’m going this way. So yeah, who’ll put that in there. Yeah yeah.

18:08.99
Paul
And so whether it’s podcasting or writing a book or any kind of art. Um some of the most you know the people that we don’t like that really become pretentious about the art that they do, um again, it’s they’re stopping at the surface I believe and they’re so we’re there. There’s so much.

18:22.25
podcomm
Yeah I would yeah yeah, kind of like we’re grumpy at the but the wasted potential more them are grumpy at the the incarnation that we see at the moment.

18:28.96
Paul
Um, yes I mean we can have a conversation all day long and I would do it about f stops on my camera and my depth of field behind me in the lights that you can see and the fact that seths £20 book is over here to my let.

18:46.50
podcomm
Um, you right? Yeah I remind myself of I call it the dumpster that’s the dumpster that the next owner of my house will put in the driveway and they will put.

18:46.81
Paul
Perfectly placed just so it. But um at the end of the day. So what? that’s all going to die when I die how that matters.

19:02.12
Paul
Yes, yes.

19:04.74
podcomm
All of my precious belongings in the dompster. So I remind myself of the dumpster. Yeah.

19:06.52
Paul
Ah, and so right? So we’ve got hands that we have to hold things in but they have to be held lightly because it’s about the connections that you and I make that something is going to happen through the fact that you and I had this conversation today that somebody that we’ll never meet will have heard. And it’s going to make a huge difference and something in them is going to get unlocked and that’s what this is all about wave forms are cool but they’re not the point in my not so humble opinion.

19:27.39
podcomm
Um, yeah. Right on on with you.

19:39.55
podcomm
So we were joking at the pre-call I tell everybody in and out of these calls that this thing is as stripped down as I can make it and the only remaining part that I struggle with is how to end these things and we were joking about just pressing stop. So when you you know chuckled and went quiet and took a sip.

19:57.10
Paul
Um, I think you well do it and go back. Can you I know I know it goes against you doing. You’re not going to do any edits but all you mean to say it again in 3 2

19:58.18
podcomm
I Was gonna I almost hit stop the mouse is right there? Yeah I’m not doing any edits for just gonna I’m just going to say. Ah, no, if it’s awesome.

20:12.44
podcomm
No I’m actually going to say and the reason I don’t want to do that is because I like the opportunity to say holy cow. Thank you for taking this time to chat it was an utter delight. Thanks Paul.

20:21.56
Paul
Oh thank you. It’s fun.